Dark times, dark moments, dark thinking and emotions etc can come, BUT always know they WILL go. My life’s not perfect but to someone on the outside looking in it is, we all have our demons, we all have room to improve in ourselves. I notice my most difficult times come when I have ‘a way I think life should be or how I want it to be’ and when it doesn’t look like this it’s frustrating or can lead to a negative place for me, like it does for most people.

I was aware that I could control life that bit more internally, that it was through my awareness and the decision of what I choose to think like, that I could do this.

Recognising what I want to be like and listening to my inner soul:
Sometimes when I’m in a negative mindset/emotion I have previously noticed a tiny voice that says something reasonable, but I choose to ignore it and I continue with the negative pattern.

It sounds crazy to say it like this but it’s true, when I’m in a negative state, I’m aware of how to change (or that I want it to change) but sometimes I’ve found myself staying in that dark place or negative thinking should I say, rather than taking control of the situation and moving forward in a positive way.

Even the smallest thing, if you recognise the reason your feeling bad, because in that moment life doesn’t fit the image you have for this moment. When this kind of thinking takes over, you can simple detach from this thought, find an inner calm and move forward positively.

An example:
• You see a mother shouting at her child, in her mind the child is not acting the ‘way she thinks they should act’ she shouts at them to stop.
• But she then remembers she doesn’t want to be ‘that mum’ who shouts at her kids, but her frustration has taken over and she’s angry. Because the image of how she wants her child to behave isn’t what she is seeing.
• The small voice in her head says NO, she knows she doesn’t want to keep shouting or behave in this way.
• It’s now her choice to centre herself, come back to calm and move on, or to continue down the negative track.

What often takes over is learnt behaviour, or behaviour that is a routine, but if you are able to listen to the tiny voice (the light) and take action to move to calm, you will have a positive change and life will improve dramatically.

I hope this helps you in some way. Peace and love to you and yours

​​Ok so let’s talk about MANIFESTATION, not something I’ve spoken about here before BUT something that has definitely been evident in my life and something I wondered if you’d tried?

Perhaps you call it something else like using ‘The Secret’, the law of attraction, praying, a letter to the universe (the list is endless for names).

For me it’s something I was aware of when I was very young, it came naturally to me and is a way I achieve a great deal of opportunity in my life.

So how do I manifest? Well here’s a short list of how it normally works for me:

1. I set a clear goal/outcome (sometimes I’m just sounding out ideas).

2. I visualise it clearly and am grateful for it or I feel good about it, have the right intention behind it.

3. Then I let it go, I’m not WANT, WANT, WANT I just let it go and allow it to happen naturally, keeping faith it will or not thinking about it endlessly kinda thing.

4. If it’s a goal then I also do the work surrounding it...

Yes I don’t get everything I wish for and I do work hard towards my goals BUT most of the time with the right intention I feel I have been graced with a lot. So whichever way you look at it, if you focus on your GOALS/OUTCOMES and work towards them, set clear visions, you are more likely to move towards them and find the way to them, especially if they are at the forefront of your mind. So FOCUS on your GOALS/ OUTCOMES and if you really want something, maybe use my system above. I know I’m keen to work hard on the things in my life but I wanted to share this with you because I know it has worked for me.

Manifesting a t-shirt
That’s right this t-shirt ☝🏻for instance, I spoke to my husband about how I’d love to have t-shirts with my quotes on so they may reach more people and within one week I met a new person who then went and put one of my quotes on a t-shirt and gave it to me. This wasn’t something I went out looking for it just happened naturally with GOOD INTENTION and a VISION, maybe a coincidence maybe a bit of magic from our beautiful world ✨.

I hope this helps you in some way, peace and love to you and yours

​Last week made me wonder have a I grown up TOO MUCH? Well I have a little, but when I look at most adults I realise so many others have too. It all started when I went swimming with my girls and they were freely jumping in the water, I remembered summers as a kid spending countless hours jumping in and out of the pool, doing flips, cartwheels etc etc

​​Being in the pool watching my girls do the same was obviously heart warming but it also made me think, when did I stop doing that? Then I asked my husband later that day; did he think it’s appropriate for me, in my thirty’s, to be jumping in and out of a pool at a public swimming baths, he was like why not? I said don’t you think people would find it strange? After much discussion we settled on it would be OK with kids maybe, but would most likely look odd me being on my own. I was super disappointed at that fact and pondered over it most of the week. Why is it that I can’t have fun and play as an adult as much as I did when I was a kid? What is it about society that makes me not do the silly things anymore? Why do we need to "grow up" and does this have an effect on us in someway? Research suggests play is an essential part of a child's development and helps to maintain a happy healthy child. Well its my belief that its also an essential part of a happy, healthy ADULT lifestyle too! And so many more adults need to know this, it genuinely makes you feel alive. Life is so busy as an adult, with work and family commitments, so its even more important to make time for pure fun. 

Personally I hadn't realised play was missing from my life as much as it was, these thoughts started mainly when I noticed how much fun my children had with life, using something as small as a screwed up piece of paper could keep their imagination busy and providing lots of belly laughter. Its really wonderful to watch them play, but its super important to play with them and take time to play and do some fun unstructured play yourself.​​

A daily mantra is a motivating chant that you can say internally to yourself to help you get through difficult times, to motivate you, to improve your daily life and your thinking, amongst other things. For me this has been a great tool to use for my negative internal voice, sometimes I refer to the voice as the 'Ego', most people suffer with the internal negative and I have found using a Mantra has been a great way to stop the incessant negative internal banter. 

Getting more in control of my daily inner dialogue was the best thing I ever did, I realised if it could be a NEGATIVE voice then it could be POSITIVE one also. I'd heard people talk about Mantras before and often thought they had something to do with Buddhism or Meditation (which Yes they are). But on further research I realised a mantra could be what I wanted it to be, for me - So I started using a Mantra as and when I needed it. So my mantras became a daily practise that I would say in times of 'the negative self talk' or just because I wanted a boost of positivity or motivation.  

Try using them daily for the next five days, if you like one stick with it. If you have a Mantra that works for you, drop me a message or comment and I will SHARE it on social media and here on the website to help others.

Peace and love to you and yours.

I think it's fair to say we all want a happy life, some want success, some want lots of money, others just want to get through the day to day, whatever you want your life to be like; I'm sure you want to be happy.

So if you want it so much then why aren't you? I'm not trying to patronise you, believe me I've been there; I've had my dark days, hasn't everyone? It's easy to get swept up into the everyday stuff and before you know it life's flying past you and you're letting negative emotions rule you. Maybe not all the time, but you might have one of the days where you find things difficult, upsetting, frustrating etc.

Now a little while ago I stumble across some information about how you shouldn't let a compliment go to your head and how if you let a good comment effect you emotionally i.e. Make you feel happy, then you would be susceptible to negative feedback, or worst no feedback. In that you expected certain feedback and you didn't get it. I remember thinking "well I guess, I mean everyone does like praise for doing something good", but I had never thought about the opposite.

I hadn't really thought about how the outside world had such an impact internally, or that I could choose not to let it effect me. It got me thinking about my reaction to situations and how just maybe it would be possible to choose how I reacted.

Picture credit: Instagram

​I had a long time off exercise, especially during my twenty's; I had better things to do (or so I thought). So after very little exercise and two children later, you can imagine I had put on a few inches, which made me feel terrible about myself. Rather than doing anything about it I found myself complaining about how I looked instead and my general mood during this time was also quite low.

​But good things can come out of bad as they say and for me this is very true when in comes to exercise, as now I have the hindsight into knowing how beneficial exercise can be; for my physical health and general mood. It can seem very difficult to change to have a healthy lifestyle, but I know it's achievable, I'm most certainly proof of this.

Picture: 5k Race for Life - year 2

​My Fitness Journey
I started running in January 2015, only running a short distance and walking for a bit. Eventually I was able to run around 3k, after that I entered into a 5k run and have done that run for 2 years in a row. Toward the end of 2016 I did a 90 day challenge where I tried a few workout videos from YouTube (using: H&S FITNESS). 

Feeling low or finding things difficult to deal with?
I hadn't noticed I'd been finding things that hard to deal with, but after a few weeks of exercise I have noticed a huge improvement in my mood, being focused, being able to deal with situations and how much more energy I seem to have.

Most of these improvements have happened through exercise, I was so astounded by how much better I felt (I say mostly, as my diet has also improved so this probably has had some effect).

I want to be very clear here, I hadn't been low or feeling anything other than normal, it wasn't until I had been doing the insanity programme that I noticed these how can I say, positive side effects.

Having researched why I felt so good, I found some scientific facts, they stated the reason for feeling so good was because exercising realises endorphins in the brain which makes us happy. I also feel that distracting ones self from the everyday stresses and letting off some steam also has its benefits.

Whatever the reason, if you are feeling low or need an energy boost get active, exercise really works,

Peace and love to you and yours.

Most people believe they are fully responsible for the thoughts they create, that every thought they have is something they should believe or even more scary; that every thought is totally true, obviously to some extent this can be correct, but the key to success and a happy life, is to understand what thoughts are and how they can help or hinder you.

Everyday our thoughts guide our life (if you let them that is) you wake up and the thinking starts, it can be so powerful that this then runs your day, no matter what the script is; be it negative or positive. It can be hard to believe there is any other way, other than what our thoughts allow us to believe.

​I learnt a few years ago that my thoughts are not necessarily my own (my genuine opinion or created by me I mean), thoughts come from 100s of different places, from experience, they are attached to how we're feeling, what we see and what we hear feeds into them etc. We hear things every day that could potentially change the way we are thinking, for example if every morning you listened to the news or your favourite upbeat music; you could have a totally different thought pattern and ultimately be ruled by those thought patterns for the rest of the day. Now it's interesting to understand that as well as those thoughts effecting you and the way you then deal with life, you can also choose not to listen to those thoughts at all, what do I mean? Well just because you have a certain thought doesn't mean you have to accept it as true or pay any attention to it.

I would often feel guilty for thinking a certain thing, then I realised some of my thoughts made me feel so bad I couldn't possibly be creating them intentionally. Instead I realised my mind had given me a certain thought for whatever reason but that I could disregard it if I wanted to and get on with the moment. I did this by not carrying that thought on, instead I directed my thoughts to the moment or anything other than the negative thought.

Having understood the concept of thoughts, I then started to notice in other people how there thoughts were effecting and ruling them ( most often in a negative way). It was last year when I clearly saw it in a girl who attended my acting class, she had moved into a new group and had shared with me how worried she was about the new group, and how she didn't think she was going to fit in. She attended a few classes and I saw her thoughts getting the better of her, she was fixated on the fact that no one liked her. I told her it was all in her head, but she could only see what she BELIEVED to be true, when people were just getting on with themselves and I'm sure had no opinion on the girl at all. Needless to say she finally said she was going to leave the class as she just couldn't get on with the group, I knew how much she loved acting and could see it was all in her head, I explained to her how she couldn't always believe her thoughts and that sometimes thoughts come from all sorts of places, but in this case the thoughts were not actually what was happening. She couldn't understand it at first and proclaimed " how could my thoughts not be true, they come from me and I can see what's going on so it must be right". I left the information with her and went about my week, not expecting her to show up the following week, but she did! It was so interesting to see the way she behaved differently the following week, maybe it had been my assurance that people in the class liked her, but she came in with a different attitude and a year later she still loves the class and everyone in it, she even socialises with them outside of the class. I realised the thoughts in her head about the others had become so believable to her that she could no longer see reality for what it was, she could have changed the way she was thinking but she wasn't aware of what she was doing, her thoughts were just too believable.

Think about your thoughts for a second, do they often help or hinder you? Have you been in situations where you were sure of a certain thing and it turned out you were wrong?

I'm not sure why our mind acts like this, I've read many understandings of 'thought', including Ekhart Tolles; where he talks about the pain mind, which is keeping us constantly distracted by feeding us with negative thought chatter. And how Life coach Tony Robbins talks about how the mind is in survival mode, but there's nothing really threatening us like a sabre tooth tiger, so the mind protects us from the small things, it starts talking about 'does he or she like me', or other fearful, negative chatter as it attempts to survive modern life. It's trying to find ways to keep us from harm so it protects us from situations and people. This type of behaviour also focuses on how something could have previously failed and rather than saying oh well these things happen, it says things like "that failed before so don't do anything like that again", or "that relationship broke down' so that one will too", or "I trusted them and they let me down so I won't trust again". Our minds are doing there best to protect us, but it doesn't always know the best way of doing that.

Now I'm not saying the negative won't happen and of course we need to use common sense and be aware in every situation but seeing something as it is, is much more powerful than using the negative chatter to observe something.

Whatever the meaning behind it is, I know my thoughts in the past were often ruling my life and I know when they were negative I felt rubbish about life.

I have learnt not to put too much attention onto negative thoughts and to focus on being mindful or think about things that I'm thankful for, this really helps.

​Some patterns of thoughts you have might not be healthy and it's worth assessing your thoughts in relation to how you think and experience life.

Other things that have helped my mind and emotions keep on level; include using positive affirmations, meditation and exercise. I hope something in this post helps you keep in the best possible place and help you understand the way you work.

Peace and love to you and yours

How do you really want your life to be? Does anything get to you on a daily basis? Your Health, fitness, body, work, career, lifestyle, family, friends, how you live?

Everything you're doing right now is a choice, the way you live and how you look at life is a choice, it's a hard lesson to learn; I know that! But the one thing you can do today is wake up and realise you are in control of your life, YOU!

If you're not happy with it you are the only one who can change that. I have personally been on the wrong path in life doing things I didn't enjoy or want to do, my health and fitness went out the window and I was sinking into a bad place.

I'm so grateful I changed my ways, but I did that MYSELF, inside somewhere I found the will to change, I made the CHOICE to change, I stopped making EXCUSES and have done everything possible to make myself HAPPY and I continue I work towards that happy place everyday.

​Peace and and love to you and yours.

As a screen acting teacher I love exploring new techniques to aid my class members into becoming better Actors and it was through this passion to help actors; that I stumbled across one of the most beneficial life tools yet!

After presenting my 'breathing technique' class to several classes including children from 7 years to adults, I received significant feedback about how the exercises had such a positive effect on people's lives.

"I knew I needed to start consciously making an effort to use the techniques myself".

I was already blown away by the breathing techniques when I first discovered and developed my "breathing techniques class session", so I decided to start trying the techniques myself during situations were I felt particularly emotional. I wondered if I could use the techniques to change my emotion using the methods I taught in class, in the heat of the moment. Not just to create an emotion, I also wanted to know how quick and effective they were in everyday life.

Being a very busy mummy of two toddlers (aged 2 and 3 years) and running 3 companies, as you can imagine life can be a rollercoaster of emotion and I'm often looking for ways to help me deal with life more effectively. Like most people sometimes my emotions get the better of me and I've found that these exercises and 'understanding my breathing' has really helped me take back control of my emotions.

So what am I talking about?
Without going into too much scientific bumph, a study named “Respiratory Feedback in the Generation of Emotion,” looked at how breathing could affect our emotion, it focused on two groups. Group 1 that created emotions through stimulus, (like memories) breathing patterns were observed and noted. Then Group 2; thinking they were involved a cardio study, were given breathing instructions (from group 1), upon filling in a survey at the end it was clear that the breathing had effected Group 2 emotionally, thus proving our breathing can have a direct impact on our emotional state. This really is in a nutshell if you want to find out more about the experiment just google the experiments name, there's loads on the subject.

Maybe you need a breather!!!
We've all heard the saying take a breath or count to ten, being a person who has dealt with angry emotions all my life, I would often think what a load of rubbish that was and why should I take a deep breath? How could that possibly help the situation?

Knowing these breathing techniques, I now understand it really could help a great deal, this is because it can change the way you feel, which would ultimately help you deal with the situation better. Not having negative emotion controlling you is so important and most of the time how you act is not genuinely how you feel as the emotion makes you think and act in a certain way.

Understanding that when you breath a certain way, it makes you feel a certain emotion is such a powerful tool, for example if you cry (maybe this was more apparent as a child) you can seem short of breath whilst the tears are streaming and its when you take a gulp of air that you start to calm down and the crying begins to stop.

So what emotional breathing patterns do we use?

Happy
To elicit joy we “breathe and exhale slowly and deeply in through the nose; your breathing is very regular and your ribcage relaxed.”

Extra tip - Deep, slow breathing into the belly is strong medicine for anxiety, fear and anger. In the midst of strong emotion, the breathing of joy can be utilised to ease emotional pain and stress.
- so breathed slowly and fully

Upset/Crying
When we cry, we usually gulp air into our upper chest. Did you know it is almost impossible to cry and breathe into our belly at the same time? Belly breathing loosens the grip of that feeling.

Fear, anxious or afraid
Shallow breathing often accompanies fear, however subtly that fear might be felt.


Hopefully this will give you a brief insight into what type of breathing patterns exist in you when you experience particular emotions, you might also want to observe your breathing and note clear breathing patterns you personally have. These are just a guide to get you started, and by understanding these patterns you can start to notice your breathing when negative emotions start in you and look at changing them for the better.

Before using these techniques I found I could switch into a negative emotion in an instance, without warning almost thinking it had just sprung on me, but now I realise my breathing had changed first, I have been able to catch myself and take a few deep breaths which has been super beneficial.

Peace and love to you and yours.

I recently heard on the radio a report about how women are more likely to suffer from anxiety than men, to be honest I think that's absolute rubbish. I think we all suffer from forms of anxiety and insecurities, perhaps it's most likely that women aren't as afraid to discuss them. Probably due to social pressures and gender conformity, but I firmly believe we are all susceptible.

In the same week I heard that report, I had one of those mornings, everything was normal when I woke up but by the time it came to getting dressed, the negative chatter in my head had started to turn up the volume.

​I've been much better in recent years about how I look at my body, but that morning I started to get more and more upset with the way I looked and I found it hard to find something I wanted to wear. Which probably sounds ridiculous, but it's true, my chest started to tighten, and I felt uneasy in myself. This went on for about 15 minutes or so, until somehow I realised what I was doing to myself. I was mentally hurting myself and it felt awful.

I used to behave like this a lot, (thankfully it stopped a few years ago), most days I found it difficult to get dressed, mainly because of my personal demons about my body. I've been over weight, under weight and of a normal weight, but my 'image' always looked bad in my eyes.

I feel so lucky that I finally realised what I was doing to myself, the main change was that I had two baby girls and I realised I was showing them how to treat themselves. I never wanted them to look at themselves the way I had, so I started to change the words I said to myself and also started to do something about my physique. I started eating a lot healthier and doing a lot more exercise, in all of this I realised the most important thing was to take control of my thoughts when it came to how I looked and gradually my attitude towards myself has improved.

Obviously as I mentioned I haven't completely changed and I am prone to be hard on myself about image every now and again, but I'm much more happier about myself and how I look.

I forced myself to stop speaking inwardly and outwardly about how bad I thought I looked and over time the thoughts dulled down and I'd almost forgotten how bad I used to be.

If you have anxiety about your body image, or any thing else that makes you feel bad about yourself, I hope you realise from this that change is possible and I wish you luck on your journey to happiness.

I found it very difficult to write this but wanted to do it to help and inspire others, I'm a strong and confident woman, I effectively deal with a great deal of pressure and stress on a daily basis, most people who know me would never imagine I had issues like this, especially with my image, that's why I felt it was most important to share this story. We all have our own insecurities and over time they can all be defeated, I'm great proof of that!
​
Peace and love to you and yours.

Sometimes in life we find things difficult, whatever the emotional response is, just make sure you take time out to think about it. It's important that you calm yourself, be still, make time to mediate or do some exercise (running, walking is great). You must change your intention to the best, go to a place of love and surrender to the situation. What I mean by that is 'let it be' then think about the why? Why did that experience happen? Why did I respond like that? What did it change in you, did it make you want to change things? If the answer is yes then do it, remember that the world is good and that you should go about doing good until there's too much good in the world. Pick yourself up and fight for what you believe in, life is about being happy and enjoying the experience, it's important that you do that for yourself.

Peace and love to you and yours.